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| The annual 'Cheers to Love' gets underway in the Hunter Valley. |
As the sun rises on the girls’ last day on the farms, our
heroes are facing the biggest decision of all – who do they go and visit in the
city, and should they wear city clothes or an Akubra and giant belt buckle
while strolling down a crowded city street? Chopper says goodbye to the Blonde
Giggler and Long Brown Hair who both say they are falling in ‘the L word’. He
is anxious and confused as they drive away, but the good news is he can now get
back to talking to himself. Old mate Mr Darcy is talking to his best mate Greg
about his decision. Greg is like, geez Darcy, I just wanted a fucking Schmacko!
Give me my treat already! He has feelings for both of his girls, however his
girls are less certain about where their curly haired Lothario stands. Spade a
Spade Julz is already set on his lady – it’s Mel of the Purple/Red Hair, and
the beautician who lost is jovial and upbeat about her imminent return to
waxing people’s hairy bikini lines.
Now, it’s reunion day in the Hunter Valley, and the boys
gather once more to cheers to love. Some of them have had haircuts, but Lachie
hasn’t yet undergone an ear reduction. Sam comes in to ask how the boys are
feeling and cannot wait to hear stories about each of their journeeeeez. She
steals Spade a Spade first to get the lowdown, giving him the extra time she
needs to get a translator in. His city break to visit Mel begins in a Corolla,
and a kiss at her front door. They look at a few boats and cheers to love with
an espresso martini. She has come to the Hunter Valley and it looks like we are
kicking off this reunion with a love story. Mel describes Spade a Spade as the
most adorable and proud man she’s ever met, he looks embarrassed but has a
giant shit eating grin on his face when he introduces her to the other farmers.
Next to be grilled by the hostess with the most-est is Mr
Darcy, who says he’s often followed his heart and this time is no different. He
went and visited Kerry on the city break which was a confusing move. They do
some form of martial arts and drink some champagne to try and explore their ‘connection’.
Who did he invite to the Hunter? AD BREAK. Classic reality TV Show move, which
means the trip to visit Kerry was a waste of time, and it’s obviously the other
girl who will walk down the stairs. So who is it? SAM. I totally nailed that
one, not that it’s about me. Mr Darcy and Sam look very happy together, and is
quite diplomatic in respecting his decision not to visit her in the city. She
loves his cheeky sense of humour and warmth, they are both excited to be on the
journey towards love. He is falling for her and the other farmers are quite
jealous.
Now for Farmer Big Ears. Is he truly looking for love or for
fifteen minutes of fame? Since the city break where he met up with Belinda they
have been in constant contact, and down she trots to meet Lachie and Sam ready
to answer the grueling question – what does she like about Lachie? His sense
of humour and that she got to hang out with the cows. She hopes to one day be
staying at the farm, and Lachie says he will let her stay in the house. What a
generous man. Everyone cheerses to dad jokes and happiness, as I begin to die a
little inside.
Farmer Lance has goose bumps being back in the room where it
all began, before he had been rejected by the ripsnorter and the one who never
showed up to the farm. He strolls around a city looking lost, but finally
knocks on a door where Lisa jumps out and strangles her man. She was so desperate
for a knock at the door any delivery men in the area might want to watch out. They
go out for a meal where Lance has some salt with a side of salmon. He asked
Lisa to join him on the couch, yet just before they went in to film the finale,
he pulled her aside to tell her how he feels. With a lot of time to think about
things, he tells her they don’t have a connection and the goose bumps weren’t
there. We see Lisa’s boobs, and her heart break on national television and she
does well to not slap him across the face. Her search continues for Mr Right,
perhaps Geoffrey Edelsten might be interested? Meanwhile, Farmer Lance’s search
for love also goes on, he tells the boys he has no regrets as they are all
floored that someone who continually referred to himself in the third person
didn’t manage to find a television wife.
The little dairy farmer Adam is next to reveal how his
search has panned out. He says it was quite a rollercoaster of ups and downs,
confirming he has a solid understanding of the rollercoaster concept. He heads
to the city in a tight white t-shirt to get his final boxes ticked. He’s chosen
the blonde – as his mate said he would, which is quite surprising seeing as she
was basically crazy from the start. They finally kiss as the sun sets, and then
Hayley arrives to sit with Sam and her man. She says she’s never met someone so
thoughtful and caring, meanwhile Mr Darcy can see the twinkle in Adam’s eye.
Here’s hoping they do a butchery course together and live happily ever after.
Finally, we find out who Chopper went to visit in the city. He
rocks up to see Long Brown Hair who is busy cooking a barbecue. What fortuitous
timing! Chopper gets to meet the whole family, and they do a bit of skateboarding
to seal the deal. Chopper cannot help but reveal his big set of teeth as he
grins incessantly. At the end of this week, says Long Brown Hair, she is moving
to the farm. Chopper says he is in love and he knows it, while LBH is 100 per
cent in love also. He takes her to meet the other farmers, who all wonder if it’s
too late to trade their choice in for a shot with LBH.
Well my friends, we’ve finally made it to the end. As The McClymonts
sing us out, the boys reflect on their journey one last time saying things like
it was ‘totes worthwhile’ and ‘amazeballs’. We didn’t get a final word from
series star Greg the dog, but I feel confident that at the end of filming, he
let out a relieved ‘woof’ and went and curled up by the fire, free once again
to rule the roost.
