Failure Bracelet

Thanks to Gypsy for making me this, to remind me that failure is essential, and can be fun. 

Moose Monday

I present to you a photo of questionable quality, to illustrate an 'only in Canada' moment.

A moose in a parking lot.

Last night, as I was playing tennis for the first time in a bit more than a year, a moose wandered across the court behind us and into the hotel parking lot, which you can see above.

Yes, that is right, moose on tennis court. His footwork could use some improvement, but with any luck he'll hit peak form just in time for Wimbledon.

You're not going to see that at the French Open, folks! Only in Canada, eh?

Big Mac

There was a great big moose, he liked to drink a lot of juice. In Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan. 

Berry Good

Did you know Saskatoon was named after the Saskatoon Berry? Of course you did, smarty pants. 

It's also home to this charming place, the Berry Barn, where, if you don't make a reservation, you'll have the pleasure of waiting an hour for a table before being able to tuck in to some signature Saskatoon berry dishes. Totally worth it though, and you can check out the gift shop and berry patch while you wait, as well as a garden nursery which today was having a random garage sale. If you are in dire need of Christmas decorations this early in the year, the Berry Barn is the place to go! 

Diddy Gets Down-ton

So Downton Abbey, one of my favourite shows of all time, gets it's first black cast member, Lord Wolcott. It makes for some compelling viewing!

 

Downton Diddy from Sean Combs

Anniversary

It's flashback Friday for me Today. A year ago, I was in hospital about to undergo surgery to have my gallbladder removed. It was the culmination of a period in my life I'd rather forget, but then I wouldn't be who I am today. 

I can see looking back all of this had to happen for me to make some different choices in my life, and it led me to where I am now, for which I could not be more thankful. 

So here's a throwback to the post I wrote shortly after the ordeal... Here's to new beginnings. 

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The Lap Chole

With the weight of the world on my shoulders, I recently found myself thinking, which organ can my body do without? And before you ask, no, I’m not going to start selling my kidneys on eBay or get caught up in some kind of illegal organ farming operation. Now obviously the heart and lungs are keepers and somewhat essential to survival, so they were out (or in, as it were). But making it to the shortlist was the appendix, my nose (thanks Dad) or my gallbladder. 

I’ve been told the pain that comes from having gallstones is worse than child birth. If this is the case, when the time comes for me to procreate I’ll be able to give birth like a champion. I can’t really describe just how painful gallstone attacks are, all I can say is that morphine is your friend. As are surgeons, anaesthetic drugs and nurses with pain relieving medications. And, when you’re in the public ward of the hospital, after having your gallbladder removed, don’t underestimate the power of earplugs. Those two tiny foam buds were my saviour from a room mate who had had an eye operation but should have technically been admitted to the psych ward. 

I don’t remember a lot about the operation, but I do know I got to wear the loveliest of gowns, I had my abdomen painted with betadine (cheaper than a spray tan ladies), and woke up in recovery to a nurse holding up my gallstones in a specimen jar.  As I was in a drug-induced mind fog at the time, I can’t be 100 per cent certain this ever happened, but to me they looked like cookie crumbs floating in balsamic vinegar. And as tempting as it was, I didn’t keep them. 

After a peaceful night on my own, the real fun began the following day at lunch time when Julie, the heavy breathing old bat, arrived, allegedly bringing with her $8000 worth of cochlear implants and 500 padlocks. Jules had a patch on her eye which would have been better placed over her mouth, and kept harassing the nurses to help her lock up her valuable equipment. The only problem was that despite bringing 500 padlocks, Jules forgot to bring a key to be able to unlock them. Rookie mistake. Already breathing like Darth Vader and talking to herself, Jules really hit peak form about 6pm when the hearing aids were taken off, rendering her completely deaf and half blind. Following this, her conversations with the nurses went something like this: 

“EXCUSE ME! NURSE. NURSE, CAN YOU LEAVE THAT LIGHT ON DOWN THERE?”

Nurse: Only if it doesn’t disturb the other patient in the room.

“WHAT?” 

Nurse: I’ll have to make sure it’s okay with the lady in the other bed. 

“CAN YOU ASK THAT LADY IF THAT LIGHT CAN BE LEFT ON?”

Nurse: Yes it’s okay to leave it on.

“WHAT?”

Capitals don’t really do the decibel levels justice, but you get the picture. The next morning, Jules bailed me up after walking the corridors to tell me about how the bathroom flooded during the night and her socks got wet. She wears two pairs at all times otherwise her foot will have to be amputated (not sure of the medical evidence behind that theory but hey, if you‘re fearful of amputation just whack on another pair of socks and you‘ll be right), but they had to be taken off so they could dry out. She wasn’t sure if what had flooded the bathroom was water or urine, and she hoped her socks weren’t soaked in piss. In my opinion, that really would have been the least of her problems. 

CAN SOMEONE AMPUTATE HER TONGUE PLEASE? 

Lesson from all of this? Don’t be admitted to hospital when there’s a full moon. 

SA Heaps Good

It's a chocolate day, and my brother sent me FruChocs! A little part of home while I'm in the 'skatch. 

The People's Princess

Of all the places I thought I'd ever see Princess Diana's wedding dress, I wouldn't have picked the West Edmonton Mall. But alas, that's where it happened and how the story goes. 

The mall is currently hosting Diana, A Celebration, which you can read more about here.

Along with Diana's wedding dress, the exhibition includes objects and keepsakes from her childhood, jewellery, other dresses and outfits she wore for official engagements, photos, letters and details about her charity work. 

Princess Diana was a remarkable woman whose legacy is still very powerful and will live on for a long time to come. Diana is an amazing example of how one person changed the world and had a profound impact on whoever she came into contact with, and continues to do so now as her collection travels the world.

Smitten

When in Lloydminster, do as the Lloydminsterians do. What that is I'm not entirely sure, so I'm going to assume it's finishing a work meeting and eating at your hotel's classily named restaurant, 'Smitty's'. 

Now I don't know who Smitty is or was, but as a purveyor of fine cuisine, I knew I'd wake to rue the day I walked past a $15.99 steak on a hotel restaurant menu. Therefore, I threw caution to the wind, and hoped I wouldn't later be throwing up the aforementioned steak, and ordered that bad boy pronto.

Usually, you'd have to pay an extra $2 to get a prawn skewer included with your steak, transforming it into more of a surf and turf type arrangement. Tonight however, the stars aligned (Astra didn't foresee this in my last reading) and as a special, the prawn skewer was included FOR FREE. Watch as I run out to buy a lottery ticket. 

And, back.

The meal soon arrived, and it looked like this: 

Colourful, yes, but edible? Time would soon tell. I'm so glad the prawn skewer was free, as I ate one of the little crustaceans and was immediately turned off by the cold and rubbery texture. Strike one Smitty, but never fear the rig workers still love you.

The steak itself wasn't too bad, minus one mouthful where I bit down on a piece of bone and nearly broke a tooth, and the accompanying corn and sweet potato fries were somewhere between hot and delightfully lukewarm. 

Rock on Smitty, see you next time I'm in Lloydminster, which will hopefully either be never, or when I'm at an age too senile to realise it. xoxo

Best friends

Pamela and Keith are getting along like a house on fire. 

The Lion King In Five Minutes

There's something freaky 'bout Rafiki. And this video is definitely worth your time.

Vancouver

Tune

The River

A picture perfect day for a walk along the river.

It's Written In The Stars - May 2013

People often say to me, Astra, where do you find your inspiration? The answer is simple, I say. The human race is a mystery, as complex and profound as a One Direction song. I am an observer of life, a watcher of the watched, a connection between the known and the unknown. Channeling the energy of the cosmos is my gift, and it would be unfair for me to keep that from you. Therefore and hereafter I bequeath to you, mere mortal, your monthly reading.


Aries
You have finally worked out who put the bop in the bop-shoo-bop-shoo-bop. You’re a regular Sherlock Holmes. 

Taurus
Life is like a campfire in a blizzard for you this month, Taurus. There might be some singing and dancing, but it’s fucking cold and, basically, fairly shit.

Gemini
Your decision to immerse yourself in French culture will soon be something you regret. It should be fairly self-explanatory as to why, Gemini. But if I have to spell it out for you, it sounds a bit like Elmo on steroids. 

Cancer
If only more people celebrated life the way you did, Cancer. The world would be filled with Nickelback tribute bands and even more anti-depressants, if that’s at all possible.

Leo
I’d like to give you the benefit of the doubt here Leo, but it’s obvious to everyone. It was you on that episode of Embarrassing Bodies. Hahahahahahaha!

Virgo
We interrupt this broadcast for a community service announcement that has nothing to do with you. Just a usual month then Virgo.

Libra
Your life is like a teabag rocket, Libra. Empty out the contents, set the bag on fire and what do you have? A few seconds of burning heat and, in the end, a whole lot of nothing. Tell you what, perpetuate the illusion of your depth by resisting playing with fire this month. We will all be better off.

Scorpio

The dog you adopted last month is not reacting well to being named Mark. Seriously, Scorpio, if you had any imagination at all the Guinness Book of World Records would turn up to document the occasion.

Sagittarius
It’s official, you are addicted to Instagram and think you are an amazing photographer. It’s only when you start booking photoshoots and your subjects expect more than a shitty filter effect for their $500 that you realise perhaps this photography lark is harder than it first appears.

Capricorn
Congrats Capricorn, you have a new job and are in the mood to party. Be careful though, remember what happened last time you celebrated a new job? Yeah, you turned up to work hungover and vomited on your new boss. History does not need to be repeated in this case.

Aquarius
Now Black Caviar has retired, you feel better about eating the meatballs at Ikea. With her track record, they’re now a delicacy and people are queuing up to get a taste.  

And Pisces, the fish.
You get into a war with someone in the YouTube comments of a Psy video. Yes, Korea has been responsible for some horrors, but it’s no place to get into a heated debate. Why not start an angst-ridden Facebook page instead?

Sunshine

After a lovely (and quite inconvenient) dumping of snow during the past few days, today the sun is shining and the sky is blue. 

And I'll throw in a bit of Matisyahu, too, because you can never have enough sunshine.