On the bus into town, old gal Ainslie turns 83 and celebrates with a cake. The art teacher sees kids and is reminded of her son. Moves you to tears, doesn't it?
Chill Bill the fisherman says it is important to find someone special and shakes a blokes hand in a ute. He likes the look of Princess Mary and her boobs. Million dollar Charlie is wearing jeans and thongs which is a turn off for Magic Man Jess, who thankfully doesn't get picked for a one on one date this week. With standards like that, the magic man she is looking for will be in for a rough ride.
Chill Bill takes his girls out on a boat to pull some crayfish and gives them each a single red rose as they climb aboard. Princess Mary corners him and says she doesn't know how to play hard to get, then she kisses a shark and throws it back in the water. Chill Bill may wish he could throw the lady sharks back at some point, but that is yet to come. Downteeth Abbey catches two crays and squeals like a child when she has to touch one of them. She gives Chill Bill a high-five and says he has kind eyes.
Nat is back to her farmer ways describing the other contender as Cheeky Charlie. Whether or not he is cheeky remains to be seen. According to someone beige he has nice abs on the front area of his body. If they weren't on the front part we'd be watching Embarrassing Bodies. He teaches his girls to surf, Art Mum is the best and Geriatric Ainslie gets jealous. Charlie finds out she is old and stops talking to her. When she sees his beach shack, Ainslie thinks she is going to pop out a few kids to raise there. He then chooses Art Mum and Renee, who sucks at surfing, for one on one dates. The old gal chokes back the tears as her hopes of living happily ever after are dashed yet again.
Chill Bill and his plunging neckline decide on Princess Mary and Tash the dance teacher for one on one dates. Then there is a group hug for reasons still unknown.
By this point in the show, Nat has said 'multi-million dollar secret' so many times I just about want to cut off my ears. Charlie tells his girls he owns seven farms and Renee sees dollar signs while Art Mum is more interested in him as a person. At least someone on this show has morals. They muster cattle and Art Mum tries to throw hay. The cows look at her mockingly and decide to do their own thing. Charlie tells the girls they are doing a good job as he does all the work. Renee is dark because she has to share the date with Art Mum. Charlie wets Renee with a hose as he gets her to wash his ute, she hates it and looks sadder than she normally does. Art Mum cleans troughs and loves it, Charlie appreciates her positive attitude and throws her a cool million to say thanks.*
Princess Mary and Chill Bill go four wheel driving and she reveals an ex boyfriend of hers told her to go back to where she came from. On the other date, Tash asks Bill what he thinks love is. He takes her to a fish and chip shop and they go and sit next to seagulls. He takes both girls to meet his family and friends who taunt Princess Mary for being vegetarian, while Tash wins over the sister. They go back to Bill's house where he has a painting of a girl who looks like Tash as she has the same lips and hair and a nice bum. Princess Mary fakes being sick and has an early night. The other two enjoy the romantic background noise as she cries herself to sleep.
Charlie and his two girls go and sit by a bonfire where he burns money for enjoyment. I hear he has a lot of it, and owns seven farms.
On decision day, Chill Bill is left alone with nothing but his deep v-neck t-shirt, while Art Mum Jemma stays with Charlie to see if he will make a rich, I mean good, step-dad to her seven year old son.
An update on Minderella and the douchebag in the Barossa - they drink wine and ride in a hot air balloon. I think they like each other and let's face it, they'll probably get married and have baby minderellas before the show is finished.
Next time, we go back to dating poor people and some new bitches get on the love bus.
*That didn't really happen.
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