Farmer Wants To Embrace The Box

Farmer Lance and his first love catch up on old times.

Another week, another chance for some desperate bush bachelors to find love on the land. Tonight our heroes go on 24–hour dates, and we are told the farmers will make tough choices, like which of the girls to put down. I mean, take on a date, or something...

Preparing for the most romantic day yet, Adam needs to find out which of his potential wives is best for him, and chooses Taryn for a getaway. She hopes he will hold her hand, and with the experience he has had milking cows, perhaps some other body part. They go to some hot springs, see each other semi naked, then she pressures him for a kiss. Not the right time or place he says, and it becomes clear why we've barely seen him on the show. He suits up for dinner and she puts on a dress, they cheers to love and enjoy a nice dinner. Taryn then takes matters into her own hands and lays a smooch on the boy. They go home with huge smiles on their faces, and the blonde girl Hayley makes them a coffee, wishing she could poison it and kill them both, inherit the farm and a dairy dynasty. Thankfully she refrains and she and Adam go and drink cocktails instead on a little date to make up for him leaving her home.

Spade a Spade Julz has asked the beautician on a date. He's looking for a 'general spark'. They love hanging out with each other and enjoy a stroll along a beach. Their date must have been quite boring as next we see them coming home in Spade a Spade's Commodore. The other girl gets jealous but then gets asked on a date and all is right again. They have a candlelit dinner, and we learn Spade a Spade hasn't been able to forget about Melanie, he mutters some words with two or more syllables cos ya know, she's bloody great, like, ya know?

Mr Darcy chooses Samantha to go on a spa date, and Greg also comes along for a massage. Seriously, I'm not even making this up. We see Mr Darcy has a back tattoo, and it seems his lady is quite impressed by the effort he/and or a producer went to to spoil her at an 'eco lodge'. Greg cant wait for his glass of champagne by the toasty fire, however Mr Darcy does manage to dote on his lady before catering to the every whim of his furry friend. This leads to them sharing a vulnerable moment and several bodily fluids as Mr Darcy says he is just going to 'embrace the box'. Okay then. Mr Darcy and Kerry then go out to lunch and have a giggle, Greg wasn't invited to this one so I think it's clear to see who the favourite girl is. It ain't you Kez!

Lance and old sluz Lisa are on a date in tropical Queensland. She's soaking up the sun and planning on making Susie jealous, as she has been left at home to shovel shit. The old farts run/fall down a sand dune and do some sport of the moment, aka SUPing, or stand-up paddle boarding for those playing at home. Old fella says something about Lisa being genuine but really he's just ogling her fluorescent yellow bikini. They then go on a sunset booze cruise where Lance is happy he's ticking all of Lisa's boxes, and she is happy to have her box ticked. They arrive home to a frosty Susie who does a silent scream to vent her frustration. It was as lame as it sounds.

Farmer Big Ears cancels his farm stay early after the fight by the fire, and sends the girls packing. Kelly cannot wait to leave, but Belinda wants to stay and caress those sweet, sweet ears. She has to leave however, and both girls are waved off the farm by the dog who is looking forward to once again holding the full attention of his owner. After some time to think, Big Ears goes to surprise Belinda in her shop. He gives her flowers and they go for a walk and laugh about things that aren't funny.

Chopper takes Long Brown Hair to a special spot on the farm, AKA the closest waterhole they could find. LBH explains they have, like, totally like, got a connection. They kiss in the waterhole then can be seen wearing beanies and winter clothing as they sit on the bank with a cuppa. They then spend the night in a swag, and LBH says no one has ever done anything like that for her before. She says he is 150% 'the one', so it's lucky Chopper doesn't have to be the one to explain to her that isn't actually a viable mathematical equation. Chopper then sets up a table in the paddock with the Boring Giggler, she asks why she didn't get a gig for the long date. She tries to hide her devil eyes but doesn't really succeed.

Next time, on the SERIES FINAL, the boys head to the city and then back to the Hunter Valley to reveal if they really have found love, if it has lasted, and if Greg the dog can handle his liquor.